Dying on the Inside

I am trying hard to find a new balance in my life. Some days are easier than others. As I've heard, some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant. I can definitely relate to this.
I know I'm a sensitive person and while I've been able to get better at hiding it, I still get my feelings hurt when someone I care for dismisses me out of hand so easily. It may not be apparent on the outside, but I'm usually dying on the inside. It kills me when I think someone is mad or upset with me. I sometimes wish that I could be one of those people that doesn't give a fig about the opinions of others (or their feelings) but I'm not. I care about other people deeply and will bend over backwards to make them happy, even at my peril or detriment. I can't help it, it's who I am. So when someone hurts me, it's such a hard thing for me.
Why do I let people get so close to me? Because I believe in their goodness. Stupid girl.
Right now I feel such melancholy inside my soul and I am just struggling to get over the pain.
I just keep breathing and hope that one day it doesnt feel like I have a sucking chest wound.

I'm heading out for a run tonight w/the little man, that'll make me feel better. No plans for paleo dinner as my appetite seems to have gone on vacation.

Have a safe holiday weekend.

I'm back

Hello fellow primal friends. I've been gone for a while due to some personal upheaval, but I'm back. Due to the stress in my life, I've lost about 15lbs, which I don't mind at all. I haven't been able to exercise much, but I've stayed on the paleo track pretty well. It's actually been easier. I've even succeeded in bringing another friend into the fold, mostly. He read up on it and found that it IS a healthier lifestyle. He posted the following article that Men's Journal recently published detailing how a gluten free diet can be better for athletes:  http://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/nutrition/winning-without-wheat-20120820

I love when new people come on board to this style of living. Once they're on it for a while and see the benefits of it and how bad they feel when they try to go back, it's amazing how the lightbulb goes on for them. I couldn't believe how much better I felt when I first started eliminating grains from my diet. Not just the weightloss but the digestive issues that I had completely went away. I didn't suffer from feeling sluggish, bloated from wheat, writhing in pain from the inability to process something my body clearly didn't like and wondering why I was so fatigued. I never have problems anymore. I feel like my body is running more efficiently and cleaner. It's such a revelation, that eliminating something that the government tells us is an "essential" part of a healthy diet could make me feel SO much better. Makes you wonder huh?

I am finally getting back into a routine and running w/Reese. The upheaval in our life caused us to go off course for a while but we're slowly regaining traction and finding a new normal. My total gym is unfortunately buried in the spare room and wont be functional again until I can get everything unpacked, but that should be really soon. I'm tackling that room this weekend and want to get a good circuit in before Sunday night. I've also started doing Jillian again since it's so quick and I can fit it in pretty easily. Running, floor work and JM are great while the weather is nice. I'm not looking forward to being stuck in the house on my elliptical when the weather turns, but at least I have that option to maintain my fitness. I'm expecting to see some great results though since I'm already watching the scale plummet south, woohoo! 

A friend of mine introduced me to a great little recipe that I really like for a quick snack. It's tomatoes, italian spices, sprinkled w/a little shredded cheese and some balsamic. It's really healthy and the perfect snack to take to work or pack in my bag on hikes or picnics. I'm calling it Midday Monkey Mix, since it's the perfect midday snack. 

I'll be posting more regularly, so I hope you'll tune in again. Please feel free to drop me any comments, questions or suggestions you may have. 

Have a great primal day!