Today is my 25th anniversary of surviving my suicide. And I am just as thankful for today as I am for the past 25 years.
Every July 11th, I reflect on the gift of living and I'm thankful I'm still here. Some of you know all too well what happened because you were there and some don't. From the outside looking in, I'm a pretty happy person and many people are often shocked when I tell them what happened. For a long time I didn't talk about it except with my closest friends because of the stigma surrounding suicide. I feel that my experience can serve others who suffer or know someone suffering, to feel like they too, can speak up and seek help. If by speaking out I am able to help one person, than it's worth whatever criticism I might receive from people who choose to judge others.
Twenty five years ago today I made a life-altering choice to try to end my life. Not only did this change the course of my life, it affected the lives of those around me. Long before suicide was brought into the sunlight and the "It Gets Better" campaign became a national headline, my actions were considered shameful and I was made to feel that what I did was something to be hidden and only whispered about. I am no longer ashamed of what I did because I was broken inside. I am no longer broken. I got better. I healed. I do have constant reminders of what happened, I live with the pain every day. I still limp from the damage done to my body and I live w/the scars but I wear them knowing that I survived. I am so happy I lived. I am so happy that my attempts on my life were unsuccessful. I am happy to be walking, alive, and thriving. All the things I've accomplished, I've seen, I've experienced, the lives I've touched, the people I've met, the love I've had the privilege of having, prove to me that it DOES get better. My life was saved for something greater than I could imagine when I was 15 and for that I am eternally grateful.
Every time I read a headline about someone taking their life my heart breaks. Especially young people, it makes me want to cry because I've been there and I would tell them that the pain will pass, there is hope and there is another option besides destroying your life and leaving those around you to pick up the pieces in the aftermath. I thank God everyday for sparing me from my self destructive actions. Today is my 25th anniversary of surviving suicide and I will always be thankful to those friends and family that have loved me and supported me through it all. A lot of people in my tiny little town were very cruel during my recovery, hurling horrible abuses at me, making fun of me and even telling me I should try again. I got called Geronimo frequently (I was a jumper) and there was very little kindness or understanding shown to me. It was very hard and sometimes felt like I'd never escape the shadow of that town and what happened. Luckily, I had some incredible friends & family, (and my Catholic school) around me who were kind, supportive, who fiercely protected and defended me and saw me through the storm. Because of them I'm making every day count. I take nothing and no one for granted. Thank you for your endless kindness and love, I can never repay you. You all know who you are and you will always have a special place in my life and my heart.
If you know someone in crisis, someone hurting themselves, please help them. Please reach out to them. You have no idea how your actions can change the course of their life. If you need someone to talk to please call: 800.273.8255 or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Life is a gift and you'll find support in the most unlikely places. Help is out there, so please don't ever give up. Ever.
Twenty five years ago today I made a life-altering choice to try to end my life. Not only did this change the course of my life, it affected the lives of those around me. Long before suicide was brought into the sunlight and the "It Gets Better" campaign became a national headline, my actions were considered shameful and I was made to feel that what I did was something to be hidden and only whispered about. I am no longer ashamed of what I did because I was broken inside. I am no longer broken. I got better. I healed. I do have constant reminders of what happened, I live with the pain every day. I still limp from the damage done to my body and I live w/the scars but I wear them knowing that I survived. I am so happy I lived. I am so happy that my attempts on my life were unsuccessful. I am happy to be walking, alive, and thriving. All the things I've accomplished, I've seen, I've experienced, the lives I've touched, the people I've met, the love I've had the privilege of having, prove to me that it DOES get better. My life was saved for something greater than I could imagine when I was 15 and for that I am eternally grateful.
Every time I read a headline about someone taking their life my heart breaks. Especially young people, it makes me want to cry because I've been there and I would tell them that the pain will pass, there is hope and there is another option besides destroying your life and leaving those around you to pick up the pieces in the aftermath. I thank God everyday for sparing me from my self destructive actions. Today is my 25th anniversary of surviving suicide and I will always be thankful to those friends and family that have loved me and supported me through it all. A lot of people in my tiny little town were very cruel during my recovery, hurling horrible abuses at me, making fun of me and even telling me I should try again. I got called Geronimo frequently (I was a jumper) and there was very little kindness or understanding shown to me. It was very hard and sometimes felt like I'd never escape the shadow of that town and what happened. Luckily, I had some incredible friends & family, (and my Catholic school) around me who were kind, supportive, who fiercely protected and defended me and saw me through the storm. Because of them I'm making every day count. I take nothing and no one for granted. Thank you for your endless kindness and love, I can never repay you. You all know who you are and you will always have a special place in my life and my heart.
If you know someone in crisis, someone hurting themselves, please help them. Please reach out to them. You have no idea how your actions can change the course of their life. If you need someone to talk to please call: 800.273.8255 or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Life is a gift and you'll find support in the most unlikely places. Help is out there, so please don't ever give up. Ever.
I know this is a bit long, so if you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my story.
You are an amazing woman...I was even more impressed when you shared your past with me all those years ago. You were always my favorite ginger...but now you've been demoted to second favorite...my granddaughter is a curly headed ginger named Lucy. Hope you get to meet her one day. Love, Jeri
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